You're just like poison.

I didn't fail RFA but I just passed it :( really really borderline pass. aish. I tried doing FIT tutorial but I seriously know nuts about it. I am so sleepy now at 10.47pm but I've yet to do COST tut and study for tomorrow's quiz. It's 3%~ :(
And I've no idea if I pass COST CT :(

I am really tired. I don't know what I want in life. I think it's kinda going nowhere now... I am just following what's in for me. Go school, study........... and I don't even do a good job at it. Aish, disappointed only.

Anw, stomach still giving me problem. No, I don't want to die yet. I have nothing much to complain in my life cause it's all choices made by me... and choices made by circumstances.

***

What if the world is really ending soon?
well... if we knew this would be how we are when we grow up then, will you still want to grow up? I don't think I want this.

Yea, it's just ifs ifs, wht ifs. It's impossible not to grow up.
Nope, I try to find someone/something to blame but I can't find any.
I do have a wish like any other girl. It's pretty hard not to be envious of them at times.
But who knows, maybe some are envious of my plain life :) (keep that thought going)

I only can conclude that I learnt alot in 2009.
Some people stay, some go. It's only when people leave then I know how much those who stayed cares. To my surprise, I found pple who cares when I thought they don't and vice verse. And I learnt that someone might be there for a period of time but that doesn't mean he/she's gonna stay throughout your life. Friends or not, it applies. Things really can fade. Misunderstandings can kills.
I found Tumblr which have lots of quotes that I really like.
I made new friends.
I got a permanent part time job.
I realised how much my family cares.
I worked almost non-stop for 1 whole month, standing 11 hours everyday.
I made rash decisions.
I regretted.
I prioritise things wrongly.
I dyed my freaking hair.
I had awesome bday cards, gifts and surprises.
I got closer to some people at the start of the year and distanced at the end.
I had the best day of my life in 2009.
I had the worst days too.
I starts to develop self-dialogues with myself.
My GPA for the 3rd sem starts with a 2.
I bought similar items to replace those that I don't want them to remind me of. I can't believe I actually thought it would help.
I got lazier. what happen to gym/jog?
I cried myself to sleep almost every other day.
and it goes on and on and on...
I really want 2010 to be different but I keep having a feeling that it's just an extension of 2009. It's not gonna be any different. how?

People whom I may not meet often can be those who really cares...
And I want to be a better friend to those whom I treasure in 2010. I am afraid I will keep anyone out. Dear friends, if I haven't been good to you, I am sorry. I still love you.

I am really not referring to anything/anyone in particular but... I just dread this feeling that I have upon making this pretty meaningless conclusion. I just wish I can stop time.

I think I've been taking some people for granted. Well, I will be nice from tomorrow onwards. I guess this will make me different? Hope it's not too late starting 1 week in the new year. But that doesn't mean I will talk when I don't feel like it. I think I've develop selective attitude problem. hahaha.

I wanted you to stay but yea, somehow and very painfully, I was sure, my life would continue. With or without you. I know my life have to continue and there's only one difference. It won't really matters. No, it won't, no it won't.

Right, I better go to try and understand Job Costing for tomorrow's cost quiz before I regret again. bye :( sorry it's rants again.